It’s been just shy of a year since I’ve written a blog post and a lot has happened in that time. Honestly, it’s probably too much to re-cap fully. Instead, I’d like to talk about one of the reasons I stopped posting as much.
After publishing my first book back in April 2015, I was on an emotional high. Being able to see Secret Hunger go live was the culmination of two years of concentrated, highly motivated work.
The first year of this grand life experiment was spent saving, paying off credit cards, participating in NaNoWriMo, and copious amounts of research. There was a lot on my plate, especially because I was still working my 9-5 job as a stockbroker. I was doing everything I possibly could to make sure I was prepared for my first year as a full-time writer.
The second year was simply spent writing. I made it a point to write daily for 2-5 hours, and I actively participated in two local writing groups, both WriNoShores and Newburyport Writers. I’ve also just started getting to know a third group out of Boston called Write Nite, and look forward learning more about them.
This entire two year journey has been amazing so far. I’ve had the opportunity to meet intelligent, interesting, creative people. I’ve participated in some fun events, including the New England Author Expo, and I’ve learned a ton!
Added to that, Secret Hunger has gotten some very positive feedback. I feel incredibly lucky with how well it’s been received. Granted, it’s my first work and I’m hoping to improve as I go, but it’s a piece that I am proud of and can stand behind.
All that being said, working on my second book has been a huge challenge for me.
I feel like I’ve slogged through every step. The plotting, the story line, the character development…it’s all been one big push. Because it’s been so difficult, it feels like pulling teeth every time I sit down to write. Nothing sounds good. It’s all tripe. What the hell am I doing?
Ugh. The self-doubt is strong with this one.
I’ve been feeling pressure to make this book better than the last one. I received some incredibly helpful critiques about Secret Hunger and I’m anxious not to make the same mistakes again.
This fear, of not improving as a writer, has manifested itself in relentless self-editing as I’ve written the rough draft. I’ve felt hyper-aware of the fact that others were going to read what I’m producing and it’s reflected in the words. Everything is second guessed. As you can imagine, this has greatly hampered the flow – which makes my fear a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Despite all of this, I’m happy to say, I’ve finally finished my rough draft of Secret Need! While Liz’s story still needs a lot of work, I can finally see a light at the end of this second tunnel.
Now, my next goals will be to finish editing this story and to post more often on the blog. If you’re reading this, thank you for being so patient.